Understanding Self-Love: An Ongoing Journey of Personal Growth
Self-love is often misunderstood and underestimated. It is a foundational element in personal growth and emotional well-being, not a destination but an ongoing daily practice. The path to self-love involves developing a loving, caring, respectful, and compassionate relationship with oneself.
Self-Love: A Process of Personal Growth
Self-love is not something that is taught at school. Instead, it is often modeled by those we look up to, such as parents, teachers, and leaders. However, it is a process that involves growing as an authentic individual, setting appropriate boundaries, and leaving destructive or harmful relationships behind. It is about being patient and accepting of oneself, reducing the need for external validation, and allowing oneself to express truthfully without fear of rejection or judgment by others. Being alone can be seen as a necessary healing space, not merely a place of loneliness and worry, offering an opportunity to reset and align with one's inner compass, thoughts, feelings, sense of self, and core values.
The Impact of Our Truth on Others
Our truths can indeed hurt others. However, if communicated assertively, while being accountable for our part in the relationship, we understand that this is where our responsibilities end. We cannot be held accountable for how others think and react, nor can they be held accountable for how their truth makes us feel. Being authentic and accountable are expressions of self-love, as are being respectful to others. Balance is key. We are not self-loving by always seeking others' love, attention, or validation by putting them first. This is neither authentic nor fair. We should communicate what we need and desire, and we should not sacrifice ourselves for someone who does not respect our boundaries for care and safety, even if they are our blood relatives.
Self-Love and Personal Time
Self-love also involves taking time for oneself. It is important to set aside certain times when one is not available for others, excluding emergencies and planned appointments. Setting aside a day to oneself once a month is not an act of selfishness, but a necessary part of personal growth and well-being. Permission to take time for oneself is an act of self-care, to recharge and engage in activities that bring happiness. Being a selfish person does not mean you need to take more time; more likely, it means you need to remind yourself to prioritize your needs.
Failing to take time for oneself leaves one's own needs out, which means there is nothing left for anyone else. Neglecting self-care can lead to a complete burnout. Therefore, taking time by choice is better than ending up ill and unable to function. Others would rather you took the time to maintain your well-being rather than depleting yourself entirely. It is a selfish act to watch someone deplete themselves and not provide them with the necessary support and space for self-care.
Conclusion
Embracing self-love is a commitment to one's own well-being and growth. It involves setting boundaries, being honest about one's needs, and taking time for oneself. It is a journey of personal growth and emotional healing that can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life. Remember, self-love is not selfish; it is essential for your personal and emotional health.