The Overuse and Misunderstanding of the Term Narcissist in Popular Culture
There seems to be a lot of questions about narcissists. Are there that many narcissists around or do I just notice the questions more?
Thank you! Lol, good question.
No, NPD, or narcissistic personality disorder, is actually a QUITE RARE diagnosis and disorder. So why does it keep popping up everywhere? It’s because our popular culture has made it a Buzzword. Anytime something becomes a buzzword, the media, internet, and social media just light up.
How Our Society Views Narcissism
Here's how our society today uses the term: someone is called a narcissist if they: Have mistreated the person Have abusive characteristics or are toxic in ANY WAY. Lied about stuff
However, having narcissistic traits such as taking lots of selfies or trying to be attractive is not the same as having NPD. It's more a case of having a normal human ego that is easily damaged or has low self-esteem. These traits are common and not indicative of NPD, which is much more severe and pathological.
What We Don’t Understand About Narcissism
Everyone has lots of narcissistic traits, and everyone is selfish. It's part of having an ego, and it's 100% NORMAL. Social media has made these traits even more normalized, not pathological.
It's important to note that just because someone is "into themselves" or shows narcissistic traits frequently doesn't mean they have NPD. The same goes for people who are toxic and abusive. These behaviors may be signs of a person who is a "shitty person" or struggling with substance abuse disorders, which often present as NPD.
The Evolution of the Term "Narcissist"
When the term "narcissist" began to gain popularity, people started to read and interpret it, often incorrectly. It was then immediately attributed to people they didn't like, people they were mistreating, or people who had narcissistic traits. This quickly turned everyone into a narcissist.
When I was in college studying personality disorders, specifically NPD, it wasn't a buzzword. People didn't have preconceived notions about it, and it was refreshing. Sadly, right around that time, it became a buzzword. Now, when I bring up NPD, the common response is, "Everyone has a narcissist in their life." This is not true; many people are being mislabeled.
Real vs. Misleading Understanding of Narcissism
Women who are in abusive relationships often immediately label their partners as "narcissists," which is not accurate. Being abusive, selfish, an alcoholic, not supporting your children, or being a liar does not make someone a narcissist; it means they are a "shitty person" or struggling with substance abuse disorders.
People who have NPD often don’t present themselves as such, and a trained eye is needed to recognize them. The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) criteria are misleading for the untrained reader because someone with NPD doesn't act out their beliefs on a routine basis. Instead, they keep these beliefs hidden and may even deny them.
Final Thoughts
The main point is that there is a MASSIVE difference between a person who has narcissistic traits or is a "narcissist" and someone who has PATHOLOGICAL NARCISSISM/NPD. However, our culture now uses these terms interchangeably, largely because it is misleading and often not accurate.
The term "narcissist" has gained a lot of power in popular culture, but it's vital to understand the true nature of NPD. This condition, while rare, is very real and often hidden, but with the right knowledge, we can better support those who truly need help.