The Challenges of Raising a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

As a seasoned SEO expert focusing on child behavior and mental health issues, I can confidently say that raising a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is one of the most challenging experiences a parent can face. This condition is characterized by a child’s difficulty in forming emotional connections and a tendency to withdraw or become overly clingy. The experiences I share here are based on eight years of raising my stepdaughter, who was diagnosed at age 7 due to maternal abandonment. Here, I will outline the unique challenges she and her family face.

Behaviors and Symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder

For eight years without fail, we have dealt with behaviors that can be challenging to manage. Many of these behaviors are not exclusive to a child with RAD, but they are pronounced and persistent in her case. Understanding these behaviors and their underlying causes is crucial. This knowledge can help parents and caregivers provide the necessary support and treatment.

No Response to Discipline and Consistency

One of the most striking aspects of living with RAD is the child's complete lack of response to discipline. Consistency in rules and consequences is often ineffective. When we try to reinforce good behavior with positive reinforcement, it has the opposite effect, leading to increased negative behavior. Any attempt to connect with the child is met with negative or avoidant behavior.

Symptoms and Behaviors to Look Out For

Stealing

Stealing is a common behavior in children with RAD. We have faced numerous instances of stealing, including:

Stealing items of no value for no apparent reason. Stealing from family members, teachers, friends, and even young children on the bus.

She also hides stolen items in various locations, such as stuffed animals, her mouth, or in secret hiding spots.

Destruction

The tendency to destroy property is another symptom. She has destroyed:

Paint on bedroom walls and furniture. Carves pictures in furniture. Cuts bed mattress and clothing.

Harm to Self and Others

Behaviors that escalate the symptoms of RAD include:

Choking a younger sibling to gain attention. Starting fires in the house and backyard. Self-harm such as cutting, picking skin, and trying dangerous challenges like the eraser challenge.

Social Behaviors and Personality

Superficial Charm and Passive Aggressive Behavior

Despite her challenging behaviors, she often displays a superficial charm that can be deceptive. She is also highly skilled at manipulation, often using triangulation to manipulate adults and peers.

She lacks empathy and emotional depth, shown through a remarkable lack of response to her actions. She never cries or outwardly expresses anger or upset feelings. Her social behavior includes a preference for friends who are vulnerable or in need of special help.

Impulsivity and Sleep Issues

Impulsivity is a significant challenge. She requires constant supervision and cannot be left unsupervised for even short periods. Instances of taking money from a family member's change jar or engaging in impulsive behaviors have been concerning. She has also faced challenges with sleep, often keeping a younger brother up with mucus-soaked blankets for no reason.

School Behavioral Challenges

Her school behavior is highly disorganized, despite being intelligent. She struggles with school policies and expectations, leading to:

Lying about homework completion. Referrals from the office for skipping class to use the bathroom without permission. Misbehaving even when she knows she will face consequences. Disobeying instructions and rules, even when it is in her best interest.

Conclusion and Support

Raising a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder requires immense commitment and understanding. Support from professionals such as therapists, educators, and other caregivers is vital. In building a supportive network, we can provide the child with the stability and care needed to develop healthier emotional connections.

Understanding RAD and the unique challenges it presents can help parents navigate the complexities of raising a child with this disorder. By fostering a safe and supportive environment, we can help a child with RAD overcome these challenges and develop into a well-adjusted adult.