The Challenges of Being High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome: Masking and Misunderstandings
The term 'Asperger's' is occasionally met with resistance from certain individuals, who may perceive it as offensive. It is important to note that the majority of Asperger's individuals prefer to be addressed as such and find the negative opinions of certain individuals to be deeply insulting.
One of the significant downsides of being a high-functioning autistic, or as some prefer to be called, Asperger's, is that people often assume you are “normal.” This perception can be both misleading and isolating.
Masking: A Double-Edged Sword
For the past year, I have been 'remasking' myself, a term that refers to suppressing autistic behaviors. While this can be a necessary survival mechanism, it often leads to unintended consequences. For instance, acting like myself caused my family to turn against me, a situation that had been brewing for some time. I ultimately found myself returning to a state of 'normalcy,' a term I use with a heavy dose of irony.
When I finally come clean about my true self, reactions can be surprisingly frosty. This only exacerbates a sense of isolation. The struggle to reveal who I truly am to a world that doesn’t fully understand adds another layer of adversity.
Making matters worse, neurotypicals, those without autism, often fail to grasp the unique challenges that come with being Asperger’s. I am the only autistic person in my family, a significant portion of which is neurotypical. My father left before I was born, leaving a vacuum of understanding from the paternal side. On the maternal side, isolation is the norm.
My mom's side of the family, including my aunt and her friends, are all neurotypical. They simply do not comprehend the nuances of autism, and this lack of understanding means I am often excluded from gatherings and social circles. Even within my own family, attempts to communicate are stymied by their inability or unwillingness to understand. This disconnect is profoundly isolating.
When I try to converse with friends, the challenge can be even more pronounced. I often struggle to formulate sentences correctly, with my intended meaning frequently diverging from the words that come out. The frustration of not being able to convey my thoughts effectively is intense and constant.
Consequences of Misunderstanding
The combination of masking and the vast gap in understanding between Asperger’s individuals and neurotypicals has profound consequences. It can lead to a sense of disconnection, both from family and friends, and can make it incredibly difficult to form meaningful relationships.
Despite these challenges, it is essential to recognize that many high-functioning autistic individuals lead fulfilling lives. They have developed coping mechanisms and strategies to navigate the social landscape. However, the burden of constantly masking and the isolation that often accompany it can be overwhelming. It is important that both the Asperger's community and the broader neurotypical world work towards greater understanding and acceptance.
Conclusion
Being high-functioning autism or Asperger’s involves a multitude of challenges, particularly around the concepts of masking and neurotypical misunderstanding. While these hurdles can seem insurmountable, they also serve as a reminder of the importance of empathy and education. By fostering a more inclusive and understanding society, we can help those with Asperger’s to thrive and live fuller, more fulfilling lives.