Lessons from Life: Wisdom from a Former NJROTC Commander

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I wish everyone would take to heart is the need to change for oneself, not for others. It's about believing in yourself and striving to be the best version of yourself, no matter the challenges. This article, inspired by my experiences at NJROTC, shares several insights that have shaped my personal and professional life.

Be True to Yourself

‘Don’t change for anybody; change for yourself. Feel the need for the change.’ This advice serves as a reminder that our worth is not defined by external validation or societal expectations. Believe in yourself, never doubt yourself, and avoid comparing yourself with others. Identifying your strengths and weaknesses is crucial. Remember, no one can take your space; only you can define your boundaries.

The Hard Work Ethic

There’s an old saying that if you are easy on yourself, life will be hard on you, but if you are hard on yourself, life will be easy on you. Embrace a work ethic where you are always striving to improve yourself, learn, and practice. This might mean pushing through initial dislikes and criticisms, but it ultimately pays off. I remember the struggle of dealing with disruptive squad members at NJROTC, a lesson that has stayed with me through my career and personal life.

A Lesson from NJROTC

During my time in NJROTC, I encountered a seasoned Commander who imparted valuable wisdom during unexpected moments. One instance stands out, where I was attempting to communicate instructions to my squad while facing disruptive students. The Commander, noticing the chaos, called me over using a phrase I had heard many times before: “Never wrestle with a pig.” He explained, if you argue and get into a debate, the people watching will wonder which one of you is the pig—likely because you have become so muddied in the process.

Applying the Lesson in Business and Retail

The principle of not getting bogged down in arguments or disputes proved essential in my later career. When managing a construction company, I had to stand out as the only one not physically working on the job site, often in coveralls and work clothes. This role demanded a strategic approach to dealing with disruptive individuals. Instead of engaging them in a debate, I suggested they see the regional manager, knowing that his absence would quickly settle the situation. In retail, a similar tactic was used to handle difficult customers who sought attention. By redirecting their attention to someone who wouldn’t be there, the situation would often resolve itself.

General Conversational Wisdom

This lesson extends to everyday conversation where the goal isn’t necessarily to win an argument, but to steer the conversation in a productive direction. When confronted with someone who is being argumentative, asking probing questions can lead to their self-destruction. It’s like giving them the rope they need to hang themselves, and they will often quit because they can’t handle the scrutiny.

The Moral of the Story

Life is full of lessons, and sometimes the most valuable ones come from unexpected places. The old Commander’s wisdom about not wrestling with a pig has been a guiding principle in my life, both personally and professionally. By staying focused on my goals and not getting muddied in disputes, I can maintain a clear and effective approach to challenges. It’s a lesson in resilience and personal integrity. So remember, change for yourself, and never give up on what you know is right.