A Haunting Reflection: A Nurse’s Summer Experience and the Horrors of End-of-Life Care
Introduction
As a nurse in training, my summer job provided an enlightening and challenging experience. One patient in particular, Mr. Shine, stood out as a memorable example of the horrors and heartaches that come with end-of-life care. This article reflects on my interactions with Mr. Shine and the profound impact his journey had on me.
The Peculiar Case of Mr. Shine
Xiaoli, a nurse who was working on her RN degree, had a summer job at a hospital. The experience was both intriguing and exhausting, especially when dealing with challenging patients like Mr. Shine. Diagnosed with liver cancer, he presented a unique and troubling case that left a lasting impact.
Challenging Care: The Need for Constant Assessment
Mr. Shine was a patient with whom Xiaoli interacted daily. His ongoing diagnosis with liver cancer made every interaction heavy with uncertainty. Despite his condition, Xiaoli was always keen to take on new challenges, and she felt an obligation to keep a close eye on his surgical site for any sign of complications.
In her professional role, she would change the dressing whenever it became saturated with drainage as per the hospital's instructions. However, Mr. Shine’s sensitivity to these procedures added a layer of complexity. His complaints and fussiness became a regular part of their interactions.
Misunderstandings and Navigating Patient Relationships
One weekend, Xiaoli was not working, and the dressing on Mr. Shine’s surgical site was not changed. Upon her return, Mr. Shine was confused about this. Xiaoli patiently explained that the dressing was changed as per a nurse's professional judgment. The next morning, he wanted to take a shower, and Xiaoli assisted him in one, during which he complained about the small soap. However, this was a moment of vulnerability where Xiaoli allowed him to vent, appreciating the chance to connect with him.
A Small Progress and the Personal Connection
Over time, Xiaoli managed to make some progress with Mr. Shine. Conversations revealed that he was a college professor with no fear of death but was concerned about his ability to care for himself. His son, a doctor, was distant, and this created a unique dynamic in their relationship.
On his discharge, Mr. Shine sent Xiaoli flowers from his garden, an unexpected and heartwarming gesture that left Xiaoli teary and grateful. A week later, he invited Xiaoli to his home to pick vegetables from his garden. The visit, though filled with nerves, resulted in a special bond between them.
The Peace of Living and Dying Well
Living and dying was a beautiful peace Mr. Shine carried with him, even as he faced the challenges of terminal illness. They continued to talk frequently, sharing laughter and stories. His simple living and the peace he brought to his days were a profound reminder of the essence of humanity during difficult times.
A Moment of Doom and Darkness
Months later, Xiaoli received a call that would change her life forever. A feeling of doom and darkness surrounded her, and she reached out to Mr. Shine. His son, who answered, revealed that Mr. Shine had committed suicide behind the funeral home, and his final will and testament documented the pain he was experiencing.
The revelation brought deep sorrow and introspection. Days later, Xiaoli couldn’t help but think about the desperation to alleviate his pain. She questioned whether she could have done more to help and faced the reality of her inability to prevent such a heartbreaking outcome.
Conclusion
Decades later, Xiaoli still reflects on Mr. Shine’s journey. The horrors of end-of-life care are not just medical challenges but deeply personal and often profoundly emotional. Every interaction, every visit, and every moment of connection with a patient like Mr. Shine holds a significant impact, serving as a reminder of the importance of empathy, care, and understanding in such challenging times.